It took me a long while for me to come to terms with the idea of emotional abuse. After enduring it for more than a decade from a family member, I learned to keep it tucked away in the back of my mind so I didn't have to even think about it. Then I was diagnosed with social anxiety, and everything began to click.
The sorts of people who I experienced the worst of my physical anxiety symptoms around were the biggest clue. Male authority figures mostly. Gee. Who would have guessed.
It's hard having an alcohol-abuser in your family. Mine loved putting me (and the rest of my family) down. We were stupid. We were crazy. We were idiots. We were lazy. We didn't appreciate the bacon-bringer enough. We were forced to endure several-hours-long conversations well past midnight, or else we'd be kicked out of the house. We were commanded to sit and stand like animals repeatedly, to show who was the boss, the head of the household, or else we'd be kicked out. I was forced to play designated driver or else I'd be kicked out. I was threatened with being kicked out as a 15, 16, 17-year old teenager on a weekly basis. Some weeks he even did it. I was terrified whenever each weekend would arrive. Holes were punched in walls, doors were rammed open, all to intimidate and control.
And still now I am abused, even though I am thousands of miles away. He has no one left to pick on at home, and so he picks fights with me through Facebook and emails, because he can. Only now it's not demands for respect based on income alone, or threats of being kicked out. Now I'm personally to blame for his financial difficulties. I'm personally to blame for Obama's re-election. I'm a liberal, one of those awful progressives who voted for Hussein Obama. I'm a Communist, who thinks that I'm entitled to the dollar in his pocket. I'm the target for everything he thinks is wrong with the country. I'm the cause. Me.
Well. Not anymore, since I've finally been able to cut ties with him. I still feel awful about doing it. Will he drink himself to death? Will he pass out with a lit cigarette in his hand? Will he shoot himself, like his father did? Will I be blamed if something happens to him? I still haven't felt anything but anxiety over this. I guess I'll have to give it time.
Anyway. The point of this stamp is, just because emotional abuse doesn't leave physical scars, don't think that it's not abuse. Because it is. And it can affect you. A lot.
From Reach Out - Emotional abuse is just one form of abuse that people can experience in a relationship. Though emotional abuse doesn't leave physical scars, it can have a huge impact on your confidence and self-esteem. There are a couple of different types of emotional abuse and it might not be noticeable at first. However, if you are being emotionally abused there are a number of things you can do to get support:
Types of Emotional Abuse
Verbal: Yelling, insulting, or swearing at someone
Rejection: Pretending not to notice someone's presence, conversation or value
Put downs: name-calling, public embarrassment, calling someone stupid, blaming them for everything
Being afraid: causing someone to feel afraid, intimidated or threatened
Isolation: limiting freedom of movement, stopping someone from contacting other people (like friends or family)
Money: controlling someone's money, withholding money, preventing someone from working, stealing or taking money
Bullying: purposely and repeatedly saying or doing hurtful things to someone
The impact of emotional abuse
Though physical violence is often seen as being more serious than emotional abuse, this is not the case. The scars of emotional abuse are real and long lasting. Emotional abuse can leave a person feeling depressed, anxious and even suicidal, as well as having a negative impact on self-esteem and confidence.
If this sounds like you
If you are experiencing emotional abuse it is really important that you seek help. Emotional abuse is a really damaging form of abuse even if it doesn't leave physical scars.
My dad also is prone to verbal whenever he gets angry. Mom is the usual target, though. The only thing keeping me from bashing him upside the head with a chair when he does it is my ethical principles.
There there. I know that it hurts.
Now he is trying to say he sorry. fucking bitch
For someone to cause emotional damage to another either out of pleasure, frustration or any other reason is one of the lowest things they can do. I've been bullied on and teased on for many years, and I had to put up with it for a long time. Sometimes I even heard some friends and even family members say hurtful things about me behind my back. All of that led for me to become anxious and paranoid, but unlike the scumbag-bullies who take their frustrations out on people, I don't do that to others. I know how hideous it feels to be emotionally abused, so I don't do that to anyone at all, no matter how angry they may get me.
My mom very often make fun of me and she uses the excuse that she was only "joking", she often scolding me and it really makes me feel bad, besides, I have an uncle who has schizophrenia and he disturb me very much, I do not really know what else to do.
Yep...story of my life sometimes with my mom. Everything is my fault and I'm the selfish bitch whose fat, lazy, unmotivated, and someone my cousins don't like to hang out with.
I've had physical abuse and endured it all. I kept everything bottled up and can't trust others with my pain because they don't fully understand. "Just think positive thoughts" DOES NOT and hasn't ever worked. I explode when I can't take anymore and end up screaming my head off at my mom. I have strong urges to harm her back physically but still have the decency to hold myself in check and not try and harm another life.
I don't ever think I can fully respect my mom because she may say she loves me but her screaming, putting me down, comparing me to her or my cousins speaks volumes to how hypocritical she can be.
Not just mom....my grandma is just as bad because she tried to turn me against my grandpa because she thought he was lazy or was out clubbing with other women when he only wanted time away from her because at times she can be nuts.<br / />
- a person who has been physically and emotionally abused
Yes, physical abuse hurts horribly. But it gets noticed a lot easier. The scars are something you can SEE, and therefore you have evidence to show the police or whoever. With emotional abuse, people have to rely on your word alone, and that's what makes it so damn difficult for people to listen to you. Lots of people think you're either exaggerating, or mistaking abuse for discipline. No. You KNOW what abuse is when you face it.
This stamp is just....pure win.
My eldest sister was the definition of emotional abuse. I had to live with her when I was 6 with my other sister, and she made our lives hell. She'd scream the house down, call us and her own kids the most disgusting things, punish me when I'd try to defend myself against her kids (same ages as me; she bit me and called me a fucking animal when I had to bite the oldest to stop him from smothering me). I can recall several times when she'd send me down the street with £1 and tell me to get the bus to the YMCA because she didn't want me, then only take me back and 'apologize' when I'd cried enough for her... She'd tell me that my mum abandoned me in england because she didn't love me, which I believed for years because I was too young to understand it myself (she even got our social worker saying this; fat lot of good she was).
We managed to escape 4 years later, and that was only because the sister I moved there with found my suicide note and had another sister call the police. Somehow she just missed prison and managed to keep her kids, but we got to go back to mum ^_^
Even though it's been so long, I've never completely recovered from the abuse. I'm reclusive, paranoid, I have violent moodswings, depression and am generally very distrusting of people. It's left me with absolutely no faith in social workers and the authorities since they were happy enough to remain oblivious to everything!
But I still talk to her online and even visit her when I'm nearby; I've tried to just get on with things and put it behind me for the sake of causing the family less stress. She's all nice and kind when I'm there, invites me to stay overnight and go to clubs and everything, acting like all is ok. What pisses me off is that she's never once apologized for it...
(sorry for the mini-rant; I've never talked about this before :S)
Alcohol affected my family as well, so while I haven't been abused as badly as you have, I understand where you're coming from. If you ever want to talk about anything, you can always note me. I'm always here to listen, and I'll do my best to understand.