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Stamp: It might not be physical... by 8manderz8 Stamp: It might not be physical... by 8manderz8
I'm going to be very strangely open with you all here.

It took me a long while for me to come to terms with the idea of emotional abuse. After enduring it for more than a decade from a family member, I learned to keep it tucked away in the back of my mind so I didn't have to even think about it. Then I was diagnosed with social anxiety, and everything began to click.

The sorts of people who I experienced the worst of my physical anxiety symptoms around were the biggest clue. Male authority figures mostly. Gee. Who would have guessed.

It's hard having an alcohol-abuser in your family. Mine loved putting me (and the rest of my family) down. We were stupid. We were crazy. We were idiots. We were lazy. We didn't appreciate the bacon-bringer enough. We were forced to endure several-hours-long conversations well past midnight, or else we'd be kicked out of the house. We were commanded to sit and stand like animals repeatedly, to show who was the boss, the head of the household, or else we'd be kicked out. I was forced to play designated driver or else I'd be kicked out. I was threatened with being kicked out as a 15, 16, 17-year old teenager on a weekly basis. Some weeks he even did it. I was terrified whenever each weekend would arrive. Holes were punched in walls, doors were rammed open, all to intimidate and control.

And still now I am abused, even though I am thousands of miles away. He has no one left to pick on at home, and so he picks fights with me through Facebook and emails, because he can. Only now it's not demands for respect based on income alone, or threats of being kicked out. Now I'm personally to blame for his financial difficulties. I'm personally to blame for Obama's re-election. I'm a liberal, one of those awful progressives who voted for Hussein Obama. I'm a Communist, who thinks that I'm entitled to the dollar in his pocket. I'm the target for everything he thinks is wrong with the country. I'm the cause. Me.

Well. Not anymore, since I've finally been able to cut ties with him. I still feel awful about doing it. Will he drink himself to death? Will he pass out with a lit cigarette in his hand? Will he shoot himself, like his father did? Will I be blamed if something happens to him? I still haven't felt anything but anxiety over this. I guess I'll have to give it time.

Anyway. The point of this stamp is, just because emotional abuse doesn't leave physical scars, don't think that it's not abuse. Because it is. And it can affect you. A lot.

From Reach Out - Emotional abuse is just one form of abuse that people can experience in a relationship. Though emotional abuse doesn't leave physical scars, it can have a huge impact on your confidence and self-esteem. There are a couple of different types of emotional abuse and it might not be noticeable at first. However, if you are being emotionally abused there are a number of things you can do to get support:

Types of Emotional Abuse

:bulletblue:Verbal: Yelling, insulting, or swearing at someone
:bulletblue:Rejection: Pretending not to notice someone's presence, conversation or value
:bulletblue:Put downs: name-calling, public embarrassment, calling someone stupid, blaming them for everything
:bulletblue:Being afraid: causing someone to feel afraid, intimidated or threatened
:bulletblue:Isolation: limiting freedom of movement, stopping someone from contacting other people (like friends or family)
:bulletblue:Money: controlling someone's money, withholding money, preventing someone from working, stealing or taking money
:bulletblue:Bullying: purposely and repeatedly saying or doing hurtful things to someone

The impact of emotional abuse

Though physical violence is often seen as being more serious than emotional abuse, this is not the case. The scars of emotional abuse are real and long lasting. Emotional abuse can leave a person feeling depressed, anxious and even suicidal, as well as having a negative impact on self-esteem and confidence.

If this sounds like you

If you are experiencing emotional abuse it is really important that you seek help. Emotional abuse is a really damaging form of abuse even if it doesn't leave physical scars.

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frontierNexus Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Silly human emotions.
MyonNyanMukyuu Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I received the first, third, and last ones every day for a whole academic year. I do NOT like talking about it.

My dad also is prone to verbal whenever he gets angry. Mom is the usual target, though. The only thing keeping me from bashing him upside the head with a chair when he does it is my ethical principles.
Breeze77 Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2014  Student
ShuSakamakiTheLoner Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2014  Professional General Artist
I'm a victim :crying: rvmp Pikachu Crying Plz Hatsune Miku-07 (Cries) Cry emote Pikachu Crying Plz Cry run 1 

Someone hug me Pikachu crying plz 
Breeze77 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014  Student
There there. I know that it hurts.
ShuSakamakiTheLoner Featured By Owner Edited Dec 29, 2014  Professional General Artist
I am a dummy! HugI'm ok now
Breeze77 Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014  Student
That's great! You can always talk to someone when something's wrong.
By the way, thanks for the watch. :)
ShuSakamakiTheLoner Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014  Professional General Artist
Cloud-Seroku Featured By Owner Nov 14, 2014  Hobbyist Artist
My father did the damn same, -_-

Now he is trying to say he sorry. fucking bitch
Pocky--Minccino Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm being emotionally abused by my father. -.-
Morlord Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014
I know exactly your feelings :( 18 jears of bullying and lonliness have i survived...
Breeze77 Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2015  Student
AbyssalSerpent Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Student General Artist
Sorry to hear about how you've been treated. I think you've made a step in the right direction by cutting him off so that he can no longer cause any further harm to you.
For someone to cause emotional damage to another either out of pleasure, frustration or any other reason is one of the lowest things they can do. I've been bullied on and teased on for many years, and I had to put up with it for a long time. Sometimes I even heard some friends and even family members say hurtful things about me behind my back. All of that led for me to become anxious and paranoid, but unlike the scumbag-bullies who take their frustrations out on people, I don't do that to others. I know how hideous it feels to be emotionally abused, so I don't do that to anyone at all, no matter how angry they may get me.
Amphibnia Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It really is, and even the smallest things can hurt a lot.
Jowesline Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2013  Student General Artist
My mom very often make fun of me and she uses the excuse that she was only "joking", she often scolding me and it really makes me feel bad, besides, I have an uncle who has schizophrenia and he disturb me very much, I do not really know what else to do.
Noviazi Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2015  New member Student General Artist
My dad and his girlfriend does that to me too. They tease me and think that it's funny even when they know my self esteem is fragile...
Jowesline Featured By Owner Feb 28, 2015  Student General Artist
I know how you feel. :( Sometimes, I wish that there could have a solution for every problem. :/ 
CaptainNinjaPants Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

Yep...story of my life sometimes with my mom. Everything is my fault and I'm the selfish bitch whose fat, lazy, unmotivated, and someone my cousins don't like to hang out with.

I've had physical abuse and endured it all. I kept everything bottled up and can't trust others with my pain because they don't fully understand. "Just think positive thoughts" DOES NOT and hasn't ever worked. I explode when I can't take anymore and end up screaming my head off at my mom. I have strong urges to harm her back physically but still have the decency to hold myself in check and not try and harm another life.

I don't ever think I can fully respect my mom because she may say she loves me but her screaming, putting me down, comparing me to her or my cousins speaks volumes to how hypocritical she can be.

Not just grandma is just as bad because she tried to turn me against my grandpa because she thought he was lazy or was out clubbing with other women when he only wanted time away from her because at times she can be nuts.<br / />

Chiyosen Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Student General Artist
I will fav this and then unfav it just so I can fav it again. Emotional abuse is present in every form of abuse really. Awesome stamp!
Idontknowwhoyouknow Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Can I punch the person who said that emotional abuse is not abuse? Those people are too stupid.

Btw, the person writing here has experienced everything there except the money one. I believe I'm now a serious dandere case. 
Fun-dragoness Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't get emotionally abused too much. If I do it's usually by a kid. I think... but I am sure they are both horrible. It makes me want to punch the abusers. Hard.
stansa Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
My dad is an emotional abuser and has emotionally abusd my mom to the poin where she thought no one could lover her but him and that she was stupied and toled her worse things every day and stayed with him untill he started to abuse my brother and me then she left and it took her a long time to get over the fact that she is worth more than she was told. But the courts only see physical abuse into account so we still have to see him!! People need to see emotional abuse hurts just as much a physical abuse it is just ignored more.
Frodofox Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I know a best friend who has an emotionally abusive family and it pisses me off. She's actually coming here for a week after a rather nasty incident. They pretty much do everything on that list. 
White-Doge Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I feel as if i'll never heal....
8manderz8 Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I know the feeling. :(
HoverBoardFan14 Featured By Owner Sep 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yep, both are horrible.

- a person who has been physically and emotionally abused
CertifiedJesusFreak Featured By Owner Sep 14, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Year and a half. By my ex. Still nursing scars.
Northern-Leuchte Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
I go through all the blue bullets atleast once every three days...
Northern-Leuchte Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Every day. Makes me hate talking to my family at this point.
HoverBoardFan14 Featured By Owner Aug 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Though physical violence is often seen as being more serious than emotional abuse, this is not the case.

ive been both physically and emotionally abused.

you're right, emotional abuse is actually worse.  
Komatsuzaki-Xingqi Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm sorry that person does that to you. :( I hope you continue to recover. 
Sauti-Alamisi Featured By Owner Jul 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It's sad that my stepfather emotionally abuses me almost everyday. :slow:
BigDaddy820 Featured By Owner Jul 24, 2013  Professional Photographer
I agree
scourge1212 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
its true I have to go through that every day at school
VampireQueenEffeffia Featured By Owner Jun 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
That is terrible . . . I am so sorry . . .
B0WT1ES Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013
I agree so, so much. I can't stand it when someone says "[Type of abuse/horrible experience here] is worse than [Your abuse/horrible experience here]! You're lucky you don't have it that bad! You could have it much worse!" It's kinda like the "Which one is worse: Rape or murder?" argument. It doesn't matter which one is worse, they are both horrible crimes and the rapist/killer needs to be severely punished.
Cammi0 Featured By Owner Jun 8, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I have been emotionally abused my whole life, and I still am. It is horrible. I have been put through all of those next to the :bulletblue:
Pirategirl28 Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
So many people don't realize this, and it's really sad and horrible. I've been emotionally abused for a long time now, and it took a very long time to finally get out of my mom's house to live with my dad....because the legal system does not find emotional abuse to be as severe as physical. I bet if my stepdad actually slapped me (which I would have gladly took than sit there and listen to him call me a hag or a brat) we would have been able to escape a hell of a lot easier, but people kind of dragged it out because apparently we didn't have enough substance to get us out. Then less than a year later, my dad apparently couldn't take care of us cause he was too busy taking care of his parasitic, freeloading girlfriend, so he basically threw us back to our mom's house, and THAT custody change worked in like...a week. My little brother and I basically felt like trash that he just threw away after everything we went through to be with him....anyways...I'm so glad that people here know that it hurts...a hell of a lot worse than physical abuse.

Yes, physical abuse hurts horribly. But it gets noticed a lot easier. The scars are something you can SEE, and therefore you have evidence to show the police or whoever. With emotional abuse, people have to rely on your word alone, and that's what makes it so damn difficult for people to listen to you. Lots of people think you're either exaggerating, or mistaking abuse for discipline. No. You KNOW what abuse is when you face it.

This stamp is just....pure win. :dummy:
DawnSentinel Featured By Owner May 27, 2013
I should know :(
FloralFruit Featured By Owner May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Emotional abuse is worse. Much worse. The things that my mother have said to me( calling me a bitch and telling me that I'm trying to ruin her life) are much more hurtful than any spankings/hits she has given me. I find it quite sad when a parent bullies their own child. Parents are supposed to be the ones helping with mental issues; they shouldn't be traumatizing their children.
Shadowpsycho Featured By Owner May 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My best friend is currently experiencing this and we're trying all we can to help him. He's a FtM transgender who just got out of a sexually and emotionally abusive relationship with a man who guilt-tripped him into having sex not even 2 or 3 years ago. His parents are not-at-all understanding of his situation, denying his gender identity, actually refusing to allow him to live an independent life and repeatedly putting him down. His absolutely amazing current girlfriend, our friends and myself are trying to get him out of there as peacefully as we can, but I WILL hold them legally responsible for the damage they've done if they try to stop us.
TheDemonOfSloth Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Exactly! Emotional abuse is much more worse than physical abuse.
TraumaChick777 Featured By Owner May 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
In my opinion, emotional abuse is MUCH worse than physical abuse. Scars from physical abuse heal, you can get away from punches, kicks, slaps, etc. But one carries emotional scars for much, much, much longer... Hell, some people carry the hurtful words of others for the rest of their lives! Just imagine what kind of negative impact that could have on them in the future... It makes my heart hurt just to think about it...
MissLuckychan29 Featured By Owner Apr 23, 2013
What if the person causing this pain is your parent AND employer and you have no choice?
8manderz8 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:( I'm not sure what to say, it might be time to find a new job :/
MissLuckychan29 Featured By Owner May 20, 2013
.... I'll start looking in a while once I'm financially stable
EdgeFan Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Looking through these comments and seeing the amount of people who've had to suffer the exact same shit as me makes everything seem a whole lot gloomier :(
My eldest sister was the definition of emotional abuse. I had to live with her when I was 6 with my other sister, and she made our lives hell. She'd scream the house down, call us and her own kids the most disgusting things, punish me when I'd try to defend myself against her kids (same ages as me; she bit me and called me a fucking animal when I had to bite the oldest to stop him from smothering me). I can recall several times when she'd send me down the street with 1 and tell me to get the bus to the YMCA because she didn't want me, then only take me back and 'apologize' when I'd cried enough for her... She'd tell me that my mum abandoned me in england because she didn't love me, which I believed for years because I was too young to understand it myself (she even got our social worker saying this; fat lot of good she was).
We managed to escape 4 years later, and that was only because the sister I moved there with found my suicide note and had another sister call the police. Somehow she just missed prison and managed to keep her kids, but we got to go back to mum ^_^
Even though it's been so long, I've never completely recovered from the abuse. I'm reclusive, paranoid, I have violent moodswings, depression and am generally very distrusting of people. It's left me with absolutely no faith in social workers and the authorities since they were happy enough to remain oblivious to everything!
But I still talk to her online and even visit her when I'm nearby; I've tried to just get on with things and put it behind me for the sake of causing the family less stress. She's all nice and kind when I'm there, invites me to stay overnight and go to clubs and everything, acting like all is ok. What pisses me off is that she's never once apologized for it...
(sorry for the mini-rant; I've never talked about this before :S)
StrawberryR Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm so sorry that happened to you.

Alcohol affected my family as well, so while I haven't been abused as badly as you have, I understand where you're coming from. If you ever want to talk about anything, you can always note me. I'm always here to listen, and I'll do my best to understand. :hug:
Rowlingson39 Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013   General Artist
thank you for this stamp
Artemis-F-Fox Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
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Submitted on
January 28, 2013
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