I'm going to be very strangely open with you all here.
It took me a long while for me to come to terms with the idea of emotional abuse. After enduring it for more than a decade from a family member, I learned to keep it tucked away in the back of my mind so I didn't have to even think about it. Then I was diagnosed with social anxiety, and everything began to click.
The sorts of people who I experienced the worst of my physical anxiety symptoms around were the biggest clue. Male authority figures mostly. Gee. Who would have guessed.
It's hard having an alcohol-abuser in your family. Mine loved putting me (and the rest of my family) down. We were stupid. We were crazy. We were idiots. We were lazy. We didn't appreciate the bacon-bringer enough. We were forced to endure several-hours-long conversations well past midnight, or else we'd be kicked out of the house. We were commanded to sit and stand like animals repeatedly, to show who was the boss, the head of the household, or else we'd be kicked out. I was forced to play designated driver or else I'd be kicked out. I was threatened with being kicked out as a 15, 16, 17-year old teenager on a weekly basis. Some weeks he even did it. I was terrified whenever each weekend would arrive. Holes were punched in walls, doors were rammed open, all to intimidate and control.
And still now I am abused, even though I am thousands of miles away. He has no one left to pick on at home, and so he picks fights with me through Facebook and emails, because he can. Only now it's not demands for respect based on income alone, or threats of being kicked out. Now I'm personally to blame for his financial difficulties. I'm personally to blame for Obama's re-election. I'm a liberal
, one of those awful progressives
who voted for Hussein
Obama. I'm a Communist
, who thinks that I'm entitled to the dollar in his pocket. I'm the target for everything he thinks is wrong with the country. I'm the cause. Me.
Well. Not anymore, since I've finally been able to cut ties with him. I still feel awful about doing it. Will he drink himself to death? Will he pass out with a lit cigarette in his hand? Will he shoot himself, like his father did? Will I be blamed if something happens to him? I still haven't felt anything but anxiety over this. I guess I'll have to give it time.
Anyway. The point of this stamp is, just because emotional abuse doesn't leave physical scars, don't think that it's not abuse. Because it is. And it can affect you. A lot.
From Reach Out
- Emotional abuse is just one form of abuse that people can experience in a relationship. Though emotional abuse doesn't leave physical scars, it can have a huge impact on your confidence and self-esteem. There are a couple of different types of emotional abuse and it might not be noticeable at first. However, if you are being emotionally abused there are a number of things you can do to get support:Types of Emotional Abuse
Verbal: Yelling, insulting, or swearing at someone
Rejection: Pretending not to notice someone's presence, conversation or value
Put downs: name-calling, public embarrassment, calling someone stupid, blaming them for everything
Being afraid: causing someone to feel afraid, intimidated or threatened
Isolation: limiting freedom of movement, stopping someone from contacting other people (like friends or family)
Money: controlling someone's money, withholding money, preventing someone from working, stealing or taking money
Bullying: purposely and repeatedly saying or doing hurtful things to someoneThe impact of emotional abuse
Though physical violence is often seen as being more serious than emotional abuse, this is not the case. The scars of emotional abuse are real and long lasting. Emotional abuse can leave a person feeling depressed, anxious and even suicidal, as well as having a negative impact on self-esteem and confidence.If this sounds like you
If you are experiencing emotional abuse it is really important that you seek help. Emotional abuse is a really damaging form of abuse even if it doesn't leave physical scars.