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January 28, 2013
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Stamp: It might not be physical... by 8manderz8 Stamp: It might not be physical... by 8manderz8
I'm going to be very strangely open with you all here.

It took me a long while for me to come to terms with the idea of emotional abuse. After enduring it for more than a decade from a family member, I learned to keep it tucked away in the back of my mind so I didn't have to even think about it. Then I was diagnosed with social anxiety, and everything began to click.

The sorts of people who I experienced the worst of my physical anxiety symptoms around were the biggest clue. Male authority figures mostly. Gee. Who would have guessed.

It's hard having an alcohol-abuser in your family. Mine loved putting me (and the rest of my family) down. We were stupid. We were crazy. We were idiots. We were lazy. We didn't appreciate the bacon-bringer enough. We were forced to endure several-hours-long conversations well past midnight, or else we'd be kicked out of the house. We were commanded to sit and stand like animals repeatedly, to show who was the boss, the head of the household, or else we'd be kicked out. I was forced to play designated driver or else I'd be kicked out. I was threatened with being kicked out as a 15, 16, 17-year old teenager on a weekly basis. Some weeks he even did it. I was terrified whenever each weekend would arrive. Holes were punched in walls, doors were rammed open, all to intimidate and control.

And still now I am abused, even though I am thousands of miles away. He has no one left to pick on at home, and so he picks fights with me through Facebook and emails, because he can. Only now it's not demands for respect based on income alone, or threats of being kicked out. Now I'm personally to blame for his financial difficulties. I'm personally to blame for Obama's re-election. I'm a liberal, one of those awful progressives who voted for Hussein Obama. I'm a Communist, who thinks that I'm entitled to the dollar in his pocket. I'm the target for everything he thinks is wrong with the country. I'm the cause. Me.

Well. Not anymore, since I've finally been able to cut ties with him. I still feel awful about doing it. Will he drink himself to death? Will he pass out with a lit cigarette in his hand? Will he shoot himself, like his father did? Will I be blamed if something happens to him? I still haven't felt anything but anxiety over this. I guess I'll have to give it time.

Anyway. The point of this stamp is, just because emotional abuse doesn't leave physical scars, don't think that it's not abuse. Because it is. And it can affect you. A lot.


From Reach Out - Emotional abuse is just one form of abuse that people can experience in a relationship. Though emotional abuse doesn't leave physical scars, it can have a huge impact on your confidence and self-esteem. There are a couple of different types of emotional abuse and it might not be noticeable at first. However, if you are being emotionally abused there are a number of things you can do to get support:

Types of Emotional Abuse

:bulletblue:Verbal: Yelling, insulting, or swearing at someone
:bulletblue:Rejection: Pretending not to notice someone's presence, conversation or value
:bulletblue:Put downs: name-calling, public embarrassment, calling someone stupid, blaming them for everything
:bulletblue:Being afraid: causing someone to feel afraid, intimidated or threatened
:bulletblue:Isolation: limiting freedom of movement, stopping someone from contacting other people (like friends or family)
:bulletblue:Money: controlling someone's money, withholding money, preventing someone from working, stealing or taking money
:bulletblue:Bullying: purposely and repeatedly saying or doing hurtful things to someone

The impact of emotional abuse

Though physical violence is often seen as being more serious than emotional abuse, this is not the case. The scars of emotional abuse are real and long lasting. Emotional abuse can leave a person feeling depressed, anxious and even suicidal, as well as having a negative impact on self-esteem and confidence.

If this sounds like you

If you are experiencing emotional abuse it is really important that you seek help. Emotional abuse is a really damaging form of abuse even if it doesn't leave physical scars.


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:iconpocky--minccino:
Pocky--Minccino Featured By Owner Oct 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm being emotionally abused by my father. -.-
Reply
:iconmorlord:
Morlord Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014
I know exactly your feelings :( 18 jears of bullying and lonliness have i survived...
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:iconabyssalserpent:
AbyssalSerpent Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2014  Student General Artist
Sorry to hear about how you've been treated. I think you've made a step in the right direction by cutting him off so that he can no longer cause any further harm to you.
For someone to cause emotional damage to another either out of pleasure, frustration or any other reason is one of the lowest things they can do. I've been bullied on and teased on for many years, and I had to put up with it for a long time. Sometimes I even heard some friends and even family members say hurtful things about me behind my back. All of that led for me to become anxious and paranoid, but unlike the scumbag-bullies who take their frustrations out on people, I don't do that to others. I know how hideous it feels to be emotionally abused, so I don't do that to anyone at all, no matter how angry they may get me.
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:iconnomnivore8:
Nomnivore8 Featured By Owner May 25, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It really is, and even the smallest things can hurt a lot.
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:iconjowesline:
Jowesline Featured By Owner Dec 13, 2013  Student General Artist
My mom very often make fun of me and she uses the excuse that she was only "joking", she often scolding me and it really makes me feel bad, besides, I have an uncle who has schizophrenia and he disturb me very much, I do not really know what else to do.
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:iconcaptainninjapants:
CaptainNinjaPants Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

Yep...story of my life sometimes with my mom. Everything is my fault and I'm the selfish bitch whose fat, lazy, unmotivated, and someone my cousins don't like to hang out with.


I've had physical abuse and endured it all. I kept everything bottled up and can't trust others with my pain because they don't fully understand. "Just think positive thoughts" DOES NOT and hasn't ever worked. I explode when I can't take anymore and end up screaming my head off at my mom. I have strong urges to harm her back physically but still have the decency to hold myself in check and not try and harm another life.


I don't ever think I can fully respect my mom because she may say she loves me but her screaming, putting me down, comparing me to her or my cousins speaks volumes to how hypocritical she can be.


Not just mom....my grandma is just as bad because she tried to turn me against my grandpa because she thought he was lazy or was out clubbing with other women when he only wanted time away from her because at times she can be nuts.<br / />

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:iconchiyosen:
Chiyosen Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I will fav this and then unfav it just so I can fav it again. Emotional abuse is present in every form of abuse really. Awesome stamp!
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:iconidontknowwhoyouknow:
Idontknowwhoyouknow Featured By Owner Nov 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Can I punch the person who said that emotional abuse is not abuse? Those people are too stupid.

Btw, the person writing here has experienced everything there except the money one. I believe I'm now a serious dandere case. 
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:iconfun-dragoness:
Fun-dragoness Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I don't get emotionally abused too much. If I do it's usually by a kid. I think... but I am sure they are both horrible. It makes me want to punch the abusers. Hard.
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:iconstansa:
stansa Featured By Owner Oct 13, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
My dad is an emotional abuser and has emotionally abusd my mom to the poin where she thought no one could lover her but him and that she was stupied and toled her worse things every day and stayed with him untill he started to abuse my brother and me then she left and it took her a long time to get over the fact that she is worth more than she was told. But the courts only see physical abuse into account so we still have to see him!! People need to see emotional abuse hurts just as much a physical abuse it is just ignored more.
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