Nekromanda

Hey all, Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year!

I hope everything is going well for you all, and that you're spending time with loved ones this time of year!

Thought I should just give a quick update, I had my baby! He was born September 13, 2017, and I can't begin to describe how emotional and amazing it all was!

Waters broke the day before at 2pm, right as I was leaving a midwive's appointment. Went to the hospital, they started inducing a couple hours later. The epidural wouldn't take at first because I've got a twisty messed up back, but by... 4 am? I think we got one in and I was able to rest.  Unfortunately, bub was having trouble getting out because, well, I just wasn't dilating past 3 cm.

So sometime around 10am or 11 I can't remember, they topped up my epi and rolled me in to have an emergency c-section. Baby was born healthy at 11:57am, 55cm long and weighing 3.540kg.

We stayed in hospital for another couple days before returning home. Since then, we've been doing all the parenting stuff, including being puked on, peed on, and not sleeping. Lol. 

But yeah! I can't believe how much of a difference having a baby has had on my life. It's still similar in a lot of ways to how it used to be, except now there's a little man hanging out with us and yelling at us sometimes. I love him so much. My heart just feels like it's going to explode sometimes when I look at him!

Now that all the sappy mommy stuff is done lol, I just wanted to wish you all again a happy holiday season, from the bottom of my heart!

I think I should just change my job description to "Professional Apologizer," because that's all I seem to be doing, lol, at least on deviantART.  Sorry for not being around. I don't think I'll be able to get back into it after all, life is just way too crazy!

That all said, I just thought I'd drop a line in case anyone is interested how things are going on my side of things! 

Still pregnant! Baby stuck! Woo hoo!

We're about 26 weeks along now, and - we're having a boy! We've already picked out a name (which we won't be sharing online due to you know, privacy and all that!) but we're super excited to meet our little kickin' wing.  All the ultrasounds and tests so far have shown that he's pretty healthy, so we're pretty glad about that!  Pregnancy is super weird. This is my first one, and at first I had huge anxiety attacks because I was freaking out about the thought of something alive existing inside me. I've got a weird hangup about that sort of thing.  But after a while of bub being in there, I've gotten used to the idea obviously, and now I just am in complete awe of how cool the whole situation is in my mind. I'm glad that hubby and I are in a position where we should likely be okay, we're a bit "older" in terms of having our first child (close to 30), and I feel that even though we're still internally freaking out about the whole lifestyle change aspect of it, we're in a muuuuch better position to be a new mummy and daddy than we would have been even just a couple of years ago. 

Been pretty lucky on the morning sickness front - none at all.  Thank FUCK.  I like eating, thank you very much.  We had some bleeding early on, but we're still all here.  Bub's been kicking me harder and harder all the time. Pretty crazy still, sometimes I can't believe he's in there. Getting maternity leave stuff sorted out soon, because thankfully Australia is not ass-backwards when it comes to that sort of thing.  Honestly, if hubby had moved to the States instead of me coming here, we'd be financially ruined, between his uni payments and our shitty jobs, the cost of rent and what our medical care would cost over there. 

I'm not really sure what else to add... I miss you guys, I miss being able to be on here often.  This is the first time in a long time that I've logged on, and between work and home and life it's just frustrating that I can't get back into this hobby of mine, fiddlefucking around in Photoshop and occasionally making an ass of myself.  And I know I won't have time after bub's born, so that's doubly frustrating for me!

Honestly, I just hope that you all are doing well, that you're trying to take life a little less seriously in some aspects and more seriously in others, able to see the humor in some things and to empathize with those who are hurting.  That's the sort of person I want to be, at least.  It's easy to look at a group of people and point the finger, to blame the world's problems on them, but life isn't meant to be easy.  Be relentlessly kind to others, and be the example you want others to look up to.  Sounds easy enough, doesn't it, haha.  Well anyway, again, hope you all are doing well. <3

-8m8

If I had a dollar for every time I've been told, "You'll think about abortion differently when you're pregnant," I'd probably be able to buy a new TV or something cool like that. Unfortunately, I don't get paid to listen to people complain at me for how I don't believe the same thing as they do, so I'll just have to make do with the TV I've got.

Hubby and I found out that we're pregnant early this year.  We're pretty excited.  We're only about 7 weeks along at the moment, but if we can just make it to 12 weeks we should be ok because that's when the chance for a miscarriage drops drastically.  

We have had a few scares; this last weekend we had to go to hospital twice because I had some pretty gnarly bleeding and some cramping going on.  The doctors were concerned that we might have an ectopic pregnancy -- meaning, when a fertilized egg implants itself outside of the womb (typically in one of the fallopian tubes).  An ectopic pregnancy also would have meant that we would have had to abort the pregnancy, as ectopic pregnancies are typically not viable and fatal for the mother if not treated. By abortion.  You know. Because it's a medical procedure.

Thankfully, we are not having an ectopic pregnancy, and we were able to see it on the ultrasound. It even had a heartbeat, 111bpm.  How neat! It's growing like crazy at the moment, about the size of a blueberry. 

Recently had a discussion with a conservative who basically told me that, even if I had had an ectopic pregnancy, I should've let it continue because "that's the choice you made."  Even though it would have killed me.  Because "that's the choice you made."  And this was a relative of mine.  Then they backtracked and said they didn't wish any harm on me, but I just had to take a step back and say, seriously?   

I'm gonna come across as a cranky pregnant woman now, because I am, but holy fucking shit.  What the fuck is the problem with these people?  Has it really gotten to the point where we're openly saying, well if you don't die for the non viable pregnancy you didn't choose to have, you're a horrible human being?  

I get that some people don't want to have abortions.  I am one of them!  Who would fucking want to have an abortion? I would like to avoid it at all costs, and I don't think I'm very alone in that opinion.  But the thing is, they don't understand -- they don't understand that education is the thing that prevents unwanted pregnancies. They don't understand that access to birth control prevents unwanted pregnancies.  They don't understand that they have no right to make someone's medical decisions for them. 

It's disgusting.  It's disgusting human behavior, and I abhor it.  It's like they don't even view us as people. Or if they do, they seem to view us as lower on the rung than them.  Even the women who hold this opinion.  If you get an abortion, you must be a whore, you must be irresponsible.  That sort of shit.

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm awful fucking tired of it. To quote John Coffey from King's The Green Mile, "Mostly I'm tired of people being ugly to each other. I'm tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There's too much of it. It's like pieces of glass in my head all the time. Can you understand?"

But we can't tire, we can't stop, we've got to keep on our toes, especially because we have a complete fucking moron in the White House who has absolutely no experience in empathy.  Guys, gals, everyone in between - this man, and the way of thinking he espouses, is dangerous.  Do not rest, do not give an inch.  I hate to sound corny, but resist.  Do it.

Hey guys, long time no see. 

Can't leave you alone for 4 years can I! Just kidding!

I'm still digesting this, as I'm sure a bunch of you are, regardless of party lines. Over the past few days, scrolling through my facebook feed, I've seen a wide range of reactions to the news, from tears shed to deities praised. I've seen conservatives giggling at the absurdity of liberals throwing hashtags like #notmypresident while apparently forgetting that they'd been saying the same of Obama for the previous 8 years. I've seen liberals desperately looking for a target to point the finger at -- it was the misogynist women! The sexist liberal left! Privileged third party voters!

To this I say, hold on. Take a step back, and maybe a few deep breaths.

If there's one thing I've always tried to be about, it's open and fair discussion.  Debate, not screaming at each other and namecalling.  I mean, I'm guilty of being a poor sport, too.  But that sort of thing - immediately shutting down debates because you've been made uncomfortable by a differing opinion; branding all Democrats as this and all Republicans as that... Calling someone a racist because they voted for Trump without bothering to even ask why they voted for him.  Destroying yard signs and breaking shit.

Instead of being destructive, America needs to learn how to be less so in the way we discuss and act in politics. 

We need to stop forcing Universities to not invite certain speakers simply because they might be offensive.  We can't have universities become "safe spaces."  Universities, the places where you pay literally tens of thousands of dollars to learn and hear new ideas. Even uncomfortable ones. Even ones having to do with racism and religion and environmental issues and science. Things you cannot and should not avoid in university, because they cannot be avoided in real life. One of my favorite quotes by Aristotle is this: "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it." 

No more branding all of one group as something.  You likely don't know every single person in x party on a personal level. Starting a debate with a generalization about your opponent's position, especially without even letting them put their position forward, shuts down debate and achieves nothing.  No one wants to continue a conversation after they've been called a sexist, a racist, a communist, a devil-worshiper, or sheep.  Stop assuming, stop generalizing, stop being assholes to each other.

While I'm at it, no more bitching about people "appropriating x culture" with hairstyles, tattoos, clothing, jewelry, etc. This comes down to not being a dick.  If you wouldn't yell, "You look fat in those pants!" to a stranger, don't start dressing someone down like some sort of Culture Warrior Military School drill sergeant.

"Acts of appropriation are part of the process by which we make ourselves. Appropriating - taking something for one's own use - need not be synonymous with exploitation. This is especially true of cultural appropriation. The "use" one makes of what is appropriated is the crucial factor." - Bell Hooks, Art on my Mind: Visual Politics

Also, no more sitting on our hands while millions and millions of dollars are thrown at politicians for more tv ads, more radio ads, more facebook ads, more youtube ads, more celebrities, more spotify playlists, more shitty gimmicks for sale in campaign stores (woman card, anyone?), just more bullshit.  Money in politics achieved nothing this election -- Trump spent half as much as Clinton did. Look at all the things it achieved! There was a reason the DNC had Hillary locked in from the beginning.

I mean, I could keep going on, but I think I'm starting to sound angry haha.  I mean, I am.  I am angry about this outcome.  And that's alright - emotions are only human. But anyway, I just needed to get this off my chest. 

How are you all doing, and how'd the election go for you?