I can't stand the guilt anymore. The lies I've told, the people I've lead astray... It's all starting to pile up on me, and now I have to get out with it.
I'm not an atheist. I was never an atheist. I was never a Wiccan, either. I am, and always have been, a Christian. I knew I couldn't keep this from you guys any more, so let me explain.
Last night, an angel came to me while I was laying in bed reading The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins. It appeared at the foot of my bed, and somehow without waking up my husband it said to me in a calming voice that everything was going to be okay. That I didn't have to lie to myself, or anyone else, anymore. That Jesus loves me, that he always had, and that he always will. I asked the angel why I should believe him, and even tried to ignore it. He came over to me and told me that the Bible was written by man, and the true message of God's word was lost to the ages in translation. That I should believe with what's inside my heart rather than on paper. And I shit you not, he touched my Dawkins book and it melted like ash in my hands. I was convinced, and the angel layed its hands on me and suddenly I was filled with the warmth and understanding that only a true believer in the Lord Jesus Christ could have about the world. Now I understand that my militant atheism was just a cover-up for my sinful nature, that I was just rebelling against God because I am naturally rebellious, as all humans are. That my skepticism was propelled by a desire to deny the truth of God's existence, not to find it.
I urge you with all my heart and soul to seek out and find Jesus Christ, because if what the angel told me is true (and it is, because I believe in it, and I believe in it, because the angel said it was true), then you'll be doomed to live without God for eternity after you die, because God cannot be anywhere near sin, and cannot allow the sinful to be near him.
